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<blockquote data-quote="Danbilzerian" data-source="post: 520864" data-attributes="member: 88293"><p>Chuck Norris är grejen </p><p></p><p></p><p>Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris was once put on the wrapper for a toilet paper company.The company field tested it but it didn't work because Chuck Norrisdoesn't take crap from nobody.</p><p></p><p>When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.</p><p></p><p>If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.</p><p></p><p>There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's notbecause he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared ofhim.</p><p></p><p>When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smartenough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris</p><p></p><p>A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching himcured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing theman saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.</p><p></p><p>When girls have sex with god, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!!</p><p></p><p>Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.</p><p></p><p>A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is forhandicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spotbelongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you parkthere.</p><p></p><p>Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris built a timemachine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswaldshot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflectingthem. JFK's head exploded out of sheer</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.</p><p></p><p>There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.</p><p></p><p>There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.</p><p></p><p>The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris hasbeen there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood andtears.</p><p></p><p>The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris,but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie thatonly lasted fourteen seconds.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris&rsquo; hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush</p><p></p><p>After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he hadtested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said"of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they makesteroids from?"</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.</p><p></p><p>What&rsquo;s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn&rsquo;t useits full name, which happens to be &ldquo;Ultimate Fighting Championship,Non-Chuck-Norris-Division.&rdquo;</p><p></p><p>Who would win the race between Ironman and Superman to the moon?</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cuking Indian.</p><p></p><p>There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.</p><p></p><p>Scientists inWashington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war,all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.</p><p></p><p>Contraryto popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northernAustralia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes ofbeing bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever,blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling ofbeing repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.</p><p></p><p>Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris' beard is barbed wire soaked in ox blood and held together by the souls of mortals</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.</p><p></p><p>There is no Life or Death, only Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking you in the face.</p><p></p><p>If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of&ldquo;beard.&rdquo; Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,jealous of Jesus&rsquo; obvious gift favoritism, used their combinedinfluence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, allthree died of roundhouse kick related deaths.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.</p><p></p><p>If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.</p><p></p><p>Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris was originally considered for the part of Jesus in thePassion of the Christ. However, the director realized that Chuck Norriscannot show the emotion of pain. He can only inflict it.</p><p></p><p>The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris is suing NBC for their show Law & Order claiming it is the trademarked names of his left and right legs.</p><p></p><p>When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.</p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer; too bad he has never cried.</p><p></p><p>The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, itwas meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck NorrisRoundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.</p><p></p><p>When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised</p><p></p><p>If you want a list of Chuck Norris&rsquo; enemies, just check the extinct species list.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Danbilzerian, post: 520864, member: 88293"] Chuck Norris är grejen Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants. Chuck Norris was once put on the wrapper for a toilet paper company.The company field tested it but it didn't work because Chuck Norrisdoesn't take crap from nobody. When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's notbecause he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared ofhim. When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smartenough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching himcured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing theman saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris. When girls have sex with god, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!! Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete. A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is forhandicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spotbelongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you parkthere. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack Chuck Norris built a timemachine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswaldshot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflectingthem. JFK's head exploded out of sheer Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris hasbeen there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood andtears. The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris,but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie thatonly lasted fourteen seconds. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he hadtested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said"of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they makesteroids from?" Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t useits full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship,Non-Chuck-Norris-Division.” Who would win the race between Ironman and Superman to the moon? Chuck Norris Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cuking Indian. There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom. Scientists inWashington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war,all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Contraryto popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northernAustralia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes ofbeing bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever,blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling ofbeing repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down. Chuck Norris' beard is barbed wire soaked in ox blood and held together by the souls of mortals Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. There is no Life or Death, only Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking you in the face. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of“beard.” Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combinedinfluence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, allthree died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you. Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween. Chuck Norris was originally considered for the part of Jesus in thePassion of the Christ. However, the director realized that Chuck Norriscannot show the emotion of pain. He can only inflict it. The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night. Chuck Norris is suing NBC for their show Law & Order claiming it is the trademarked names of his left and right legs. When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer; too bad he has never cried. The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, itwas meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck NorrisRoundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close. When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. [/QUOTE]
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